Detour!

Please forgive me, but I am going to take a short detour. As promised, I am announcing my personal website today. Be sure to visit http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~tjd382 to check it out. I have some music up as well as some pictures, but please remember, it is still in beta, so there will be more improvements, I have been really busy these past two weeks.

On a second note, it seems that people in Philadelphia do not make decisions based on right and wrong, but rather based on the damage ratio. Let me explain. A damage ratio is the ratio of damage you will receive with respect to what you collide with. For example, if you collide with another person, your damage ratio is 1:1, because for every 1 blemish they cause you, you are likely to cause 1 back. However, if you collide with a Mack truck going 45mph, the damage ratio becomes 67:1, meaning for every 1 blemish on the truck, you are likely to receive 67. A bicyclist going around 10mph is a damage ratio of 2:1. Based on these ratios, people decide whether they should cross a street on a red. Let me explain: Law says you do not cross the street on a red, however if there is absolutely nothing coming, you are safe, but if a jogger comes running down the street and you have a red, don't let your feet peel off the sidewalk. I think I need to sleep.

Today's topic is....

For all you cronies out there, today's episode is ready:

The Exam Begger

This person cannot take a test without first begging for as much review or information as possible. They cannot prepare for a test without first knowing seemingly unimportant details like "How many questions are on this test?" They will beg for extra review sessions, extra credit, and to know the exact breakdown of how the test is scored. They will waste the whole class when a test is announced if the professor doesn't shut them up. They will also spend the entire first session of a class, when the syllabus is presented trying to make homework a much higher percentage of the total grade.

By the by, Philadelphia sure knows how to make white snow some of the nastiest shit I've ever seen in my life.

Enjoy.

And Now For Something Completly Different...

Well, not exactly. Here is a few more of the college types. I'm going to post about 4 to cover for the days I've missed. Enjoy!

Music Major

One of the more rare species outside of Music Classes, Practice Rooms, and University Symphony Concerts. The MM spends 50% of their time practicing, 25% studying hard/semi-useless classes which require an A to get accepted to their low-paying major, 25% at band practices, and 25% with their music Fraternity/Sorority...is that 125%? Doesn't matter; MMs party so much that the high alcohol content in their bloodstream causes them to black out and loose that 25%. Tends to only date other music majors because "Only another MM can understand why they have to practice 3-4 hours a day". Depending on the instrument, music majors are laid back, but complain that they are working SOOO hard to eventually get a salary of <$35K a year but that "I love music SOOO much it doesn't matter". Usually makes fun of the Drama Nerd for not being "Real Musicians" and has enough Classical CD's to fill up Amazon.com.

The Studio Art Major

The S.A.M. totes around a humongous portfolios (often containing works of art only other S.A.M.'s can appreciate) manages to whack near passersby's and destroy other objects in their path. The studio major whine's about spending all their money on ridiculously expensive studio supplies, yet they have enough for a regular smoke...you know, for the stress. Unfortunately, studio courses are inhumanely time-consuming, so the S.A.M. are almost always held up in the studio labs, yet the degree is absolutely worthless, thus resulting in a downward mental spiraling of the said major students. You could spot them easily by their odd sense of "fashion", consisting of articles such as striped socks, ripped jeans and unsightly hairstyles. The best way to test if an individual is a studio arts major is to ask him/her to help you count, as most can't do math to save their lives.

The Guy With Inhuman halo Skills

This guy doesn't have "mad skills"; Instead, there is no word in the English language that properly describes how good this fucker is with a plasma rifle or pistol. He looks rather ordinary, with no unusual physical features, nor obvious personality quirks. But give him an Xbox, and a copy of Halo, and prepare to have many recurring nightmares of what you're about to see.
You could swear that the The Guy with inhuman Halo skills has found a way to wire an Xbox to his brain, because there is no other explanation to how impossibly good he is.
He quite literally can chuck a grenade at a difficult-to-reach weapon, and the explosion will launch the said weapon straight at him, as if he was pulling it telekineticaly. He knows the location of every item on every map, and knows exactly when that item is gonna respawn.

The Engineer

One who is rarely seen without a TI-83 Plus or higher model calculator, and actually knows how to, and does, use all the functions of said calculator. Often makes jokes that one outside of the Engineering spectrum will not understand, or makes really horrible ones, or both. Example: "I'm pretty sure it was a zero-force member..." "that's what she said." Takes many science/math courses that are said to "strongly relate to core Engineering" and "provide a base for higher level courses" but in reality 99% of skills in said classes are rarely used.

If you have any by all means, send them over.

Everybody wake up!

It's time for the next in our series of colleges types.

The Lucky Bastard

An amorphous presence, he is in your class just to make you feel crappy. He doesn't try, isn't smart, and may even be a mean SOB to people, yet gets lucky breaks in grades/finding a job/getting a girl. For instance he bombs a test but the professor loses it and acknowledges he took the test and gets the class average, or finds an emotionally unstable girl who clings to him and does anything he wants regardless of how he treats her. He also will get a job because of a crappy reason like him and the recruiter like the same baseball player.

2 for the Money

Thats right. Today there will be two types defined.

The R.A.

The R.A. lives to screw up your social life. Lurking behind every dark shadow; The R.A. springs to action and stomps out any signs of fun, ranging from a friendly game of Bingo to a raging smörgåsbord orgy. They (often hated by many) feel because they are getting free housing, they owe it to their said college to annoy all with their passive – aggressive confrontational vendetta against all on campus students. All that is missing is a whistle, and a safety badge. Often useless, The R.A. does come in handy when the PHILOSOPHER STONER, JOHNNY FRAT BOY - or - SALLY SORORITY CHICK locks themselves out at 4am.

Just Doing This for the Free Housing R.A.

This RA just says hi and bye to residents, decorates the bulletin board, and completes the minimal number of required programs. This R.A. is cool as shit, but makes it clear they are only here for the free housing.

Which do you prefer?