The Epiphany.

So, I realized today, that video games can bring people in horrible moods into happy moods. I saw two people one recent friend, who i don't know to well, and one friend I've known for a while, and love to death, both in terrible moods. They played some video games, which lead to pool, which led to smiles. Believe it or not, as much of a prick and insensitive bastard as I may be, I live to see smiles from my friends. Here's a secret, for christmas,what I really wanted most of all was to be able to have my old life back again, a father and mother who got along, a father who was in a clean bill of health, a sister who just had fun, friends who never failed to be there, the three musketeers, My roomate, the floormates down the hall, jedi and ethiopia, nick and pat, and of course, my family. I then realized, who the hell cares. This is my life, its not that bad, and shit happens. Dads getting much batter, parents are still together, dougs here, mikis here, nick and pat aren't that far away, the family....well thats shot to hell, but it doesn't matter to me. But most of all, Everyone smiled on christmas, and everyone in my house has been smiling a lot more. Smile smile smile. My epiphany was the sole fact of finding the courage to say "fuck it", and let life go on. As I write this I think of midias(RT), who more than anything else needs warm wishes for this new years, and after all, he deserves it, doesn't everyone? The man will soon be able to say "fuck it", but until he does, he's only human. Please, just smile.
Going internet silent as of 3:26am December 31st, 2005. I'll see you next year.
Fankle

"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world." -Mr. L. Armstrong.

Squeaky Squeaky?

Two things:
1. Mind your own business.
2. If they made intellegence pills, there wouldn't be enough in the world to help you.

I am interested to see how fast rumors spread.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Rumor has a hundred tongues, a hundred mouths, a voice of iron." -Virgil

The Holidays.

Well, Hope everyone had a happy holiday. I went internet silent over the holiday just due to lack of time. My holidays went well. Tell me how your holidays were! My 1,000 profile view came sometime in the last 3 days, as now the count is up at 1006 on roosterteeth! I got the freaking Hess truck for christmas!! Yes, I know it sounds childish, but as much as some people look forward to NORAD santa tracking, I look forward to playing with the new Hess truck, then adding it to my collection. I have every truck since 1986. It's always exciting, I even get all excited when I see the commercials! Well, I have loads of work to do, but I did want to formally say thank you, and open up discussion of everyones holiday. Whether it be Christmas, Chanukkah, Kwanza or Festivus. Until Then!

That Time of year again.

Christmas is in full swing, the day before the day before christmas, and everyone is hopping around. I am not a big fan of holidays anymore. One thing that bothers me is that everybodys mood changes for the better around holidays. Why do they need a holiday to be cheery? Can't they just be happy all year long? Thats my theory, and probably why holidays lost their flare for me. I can't stand that fake cheeriness around the holiday season.

As per a previous conversation.

I was talking with someone about the Flying Spaghetti Monster (it's a crab). I have a feeling that neither she, nor does many people understand what it represents.
FYI: Read about it here.

Heres the link in plain format.
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/12/22/passion_of_the_spagh.html

New planets?

Some interesting space stuff I read today. I wonder how much NASA knows that they don't share with us publicly. This is nifty for me, at least. Links open in window below!
Cnn's new planets

Catching Up.

I'm finally starting to catch up to my end of the year stuff. For one, I donated my christmas bonus yesterday. I also finished another 8 pages of my score. I was up till almost 330am writing it though. The sad part is, I'm under no obligation or time constraint, I just had thoughts I suppose. All of my christmas presents are in, at least for the first wave. I will be starting taxes next week sometime, but heaven knows when. I have come to the conclusion that many people around me recently have been depressed for lack of better terminology. Maybe everyone should just relax. No need to be sad, I believe Nat King Cole said it best in this song:

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Say Cheese!

Important New Years Update.

I decided that I will not be catering the new years party as was initially intended. It's not that it costs too much, actually I was getting a very good deal, it is that everyone wants to go drinking that night, and I am not sure how many people are coming, and more importantly how long people are coming for. I have, instead, decided to have cheesesteaks! I will be getting them next week. To accomodate everyone, well, at least one person, I will be getting beef and chicken steaks to cook. Also, I will be including my now famous chicken wings, and then some other finger type foods:
Chicken nuggets
pizza rolls
Taco dip
Chips
pretzels

It should be fun. I plan on playing jenga, and just having a good time. If everyone leaves, ok, if not, thats fine too, no hard feelings. I know at least two people who will be staying, and we always create fun for everyone.
Just an update, I will post who is coming within the next few days, when I figure it out myself.
Until later, \/

Ummmm..... Yeah.

Well, I mine as well conform to everyone else.

I love you?

Free Cheese Wedges!

I had a tough time believeing this one, but check it out for yourself. If you have ever heard of craigslist, then skip down to the link, and check it out, if you don't, read on. Craigslist is an online classifieds for different cities all over the world.  Its free to post, and they do a great job keeping spammers out of your email as well. They list everything from personal ads (yes, erotic squeaky squeaky partners), to automobiles.  Here is a listing I found to make me laugh for a good five minutes or so, be stunned: Free Cheese!

Find all you need in your life.....

I forgot I needed to burn some music for my cousin before christmas. No big deal. Work isn't to great today, a series of ups a downs, its either everyone needs something, or noone needs anything, there is no such thing as pace and steady work here. I was working with some folks last night, but I still cant seem to get my router to open up and let my computer serve my website. Bastard. I should be putting up a new top ten list today or tomorrow, depending on how I'm feeling. I posted an update on my music blog, I am writing a musical score at the moment, got about 50 pages done, so me writing something to post everyday is going to have to hold off, until my score is finished. Probably after the new year. Same for my application. I got something good going, but the score has my prime interest right now. I do wish doug a speedy recovery, partly because it must suck to have painful feet, and partly because I don't want to be completly bored next week. I should do some work, ill write more later, after I'm through with this drawing and during lunch (they will coincide), until then!

Frustrated......

For the past two months, I have been trying to get my desktop at home to run as my webserver, since I don't use it for much else, if anything. Two months later I still can't get it to work. I'm getting frustrated to the point of me wanting to put my head through this screen. I've asked in the forums, just to be either ignored, or told to use apache. Yeah no shit, why would I post on an apache forum if I wasn't going to use apache? The forums here haven't helped much, though a few people reecognized that my problem existed. I have no idea what the problem is, I have apache running, dynu running, yet i still can't get my page to show up. I think I'm configuring apache incorrectly, but noone seems to know how to configure it to work with dynu. I sit behind a wireless router at home, and everytime i go to my address on a computer in the network, I get my router setup page, and outside of the network gets a blank page. when i test at localhost, i can see my page fine, just not at the address I setup with dynu. Thus is why i think its a configuration problem, but once again no one knows. Man its frustrating. I'm considering buying a server system, if I only had the extra thousands to throw around.

A friends blog to visit!

So, seeing as how this person needs to be cheered up, and well, I do like to push other peoples popularity, please visit this blog. I would appreciate it, and yes, sorry about the color!

Here is the link as well:
http://ewectwonic.blogspot.com/

Top ten List #1

The top ten reasons you know its a slow day at Wood River:

10. The mad rush into the dining room at the opening bell consists of three people.
9. You water plants to look busy.
8. The host waters plants to look busy.
7. There was time to clean the Ice cream at 130.
6. Jane is asking if SHE can help YOU.
5. Tables are able to get turned without trays and resets stepping foot into the dining room.
4. Tom and Justin pick up 4 dinners at a time, not the usual 14.
3. Percy can keep up.
2. Jane can keep up.
The number one reason you know its a slow day at Wood River......
1. The drunk hostess was happy at the end of the day.

If you're reading this and work for wood River, remember, I'm sarcastic, nothing personal. If you take this as a personal attack on your work habits, suck it up, its a joke.

No wood river employees were harmed in the making of this list.

Friends.

I was thinking this morning, on the way to work. I had a fun time yesterday, even though we were down a person, who could have only added to the enjoyment, but of course, health comes first, we managed to pull off a fun night.

I managed to hit myself in the head with something I think maybe I have been putting out of my mind recently. It hit me, that one day when we were looking through the yearbook, my roomate and myself, I had many friends in high school. The interesting part of this was that I used high school as more of a trial period of friends. I had many, but I never really broke off any ties with them during my high school years. This in turn led me to realize how many of those friends I really liked, and how many of those friends I wouldn't mind not seeing ever again (especially after sex on my bed). Then I went to college, which is a perfect excuse to now cut off the ties I didn't want anymore, and I did so. I kept many friends still in high school, and of course, those on my grade level.

Yesterday I watched a friends depression launch the friend part of me into gear, and I acted immediatly to crakc a smile on her face, but the problem was that she wasn't on the other end of the conversation, no big deal, but then something else happened, I ended up typing something that was on my mind, I kept it in the back, and I typed it into the IM window and hit send. It was some derivation of "Don't forget I'm always there for you". That got me thinking. I haven't hung out with this person in months, and havent talked to this person in weeks, yet when they feel pain, or discomfort, I still want to be there for them, It makes for a good friendship. I learned that even though I had not hung out or seen or talked to a friend that at one point I used to see and talk to everyday for hours, it never dissipated our relationship, and even though we don't push to hang out or talk everyday, we know we are there.

Another thing, Back in the days of ye ole high school, I had a particular friend who saved me from doing some stupid things many a time, and we were very very close, and matter of fact, I was very very close to his now ex-girlfriend, and together the three of us always had a decent time, and to this day, we keep in touch.

Recently, I found the friendship of another excellent person that I also shared a room with for 10 months, and have seen pretty much every weekend since june. This kid manages to always loosen up my mood, and I try to do the same for him, he has it quite a bit harder than I do, but he still keeps his chin up and moves on. "thems the breaks" as he says. Late night projects and professors bullshit that we both managed to eat through, and come out on top, but quite frankly, I think my freshman year would have been a very stressful time if it wasn't for rooming with him. He is one of the few people who I can joke with and hold a completly deep and serious conversation with all in one day. This childs life goal is to make people laugh. Hes completed his goal everyday I've known him with me. I tend to share the same goal. So kudos and thanks.

However, I also have distanced away from some people of whom I used to be very close to. She has a new boyfriend, which is great for her, and she is very very happy with him. However, my friendship with her has far from died, but has definitly diminished, and I'm far from blaming her. I must accept most of the blame. She is a wonderful friend, and my did we have awesome times together. Most I'll never forget.

Just last week, a friend of which I've been keeping up with, loosly but nonetheless, keeping up with had a baby girl. I thought back, and remembered that one particular night when she called me at 233am on a school night, in tears because she called her (at that time) boyfriend and he was with another women, which is alright, but he was in north carolina and had been "missing" her calls the past few mornings and evenings (when they managed to find time to talk). He told her that he needed a break for a while, and that he would explain more later, and hung up. We talked until 4 or so, at that time she was calm, and feeling secure enough to go to sleep until 530 or so. I hated that she moved, but I was all for it, seeing as how she was getting married, and to this day some two or more years later we still talk, and now i hear she is going to be farther. Not very happy about that. She was there for me many a times, and I do enjoy getting the random phone calls from her once every few months.

This leads me to the car ride to work this morning, when I realized that for me, I take pride in my life, and everything I do, I mean for goodness sake, i'm working on the new World Trade Center building, how many people do you know that have that oppertunity? But in the mess of all that I take pride in, I take the most pride in my friends, and my ability to be a good friend. In regards to a conversation I had with a good friend, people shouldn't wish their lives away, but a few days is alright. I know everyone in this world has wished some amount of time in their lives away, but the one thing that keeps me going is knowing that when shit gets tough and my mind starts to whirl, I can look over my shoulder and have a line of friends to back me up, make me laugh, and most important of all, be there for me too.

Afterall, Them is the breaks.

The sound of music....

I posted two pieces on my music blog today of Semi-decent length. Also, I posted a friends musical insight to the gaming community. Please check it out!

Mona Lisa

On the news this morning, a story aired about Mona lisas face, and the recognition software they used to find out this:

The result showed the painting's famous subject was 83 percent happy, 9 percent disgusted, 6 percent fearful and 2 percent angry. She was less than 1 percent neutral, and not at all surprised.

How can you break someones facial emotion into percentages?
The full story here.

New Palm Application listed

If you keep with the Application development blog, You'll see I added a new program to my library. It's for palm. I will be putting aside the palm programming for a while (at least until after the new year) to work on some Win32 native apps, and then probably a Mac program (we'll see how adventerous I get). Feedback is always welcome.

The woes of politics and religion.....

Listening to a blurb on NPR yesterday I found out there is a book called "quoting Jesus". Understand, I am in no way making this a religious debate, I just thought it was quite interesting. Basically, it tells how the scribes intentionally or accidentally modified the New testament. In particular, it singled out the story of the adulter.

John 8

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Story from the king james New Testament (also found online http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%208;&version=31;)

This story was said to never have been in the bible, but rather written in the margins of an earlier version of manuscripts. Remember, back then (2nd and 3rd century) all copying of written work was done by hand, so errors were expected. The input of this was just one of them, but this was said to be intentional. So then the question becomes, are the born agains living up to false standards? Well, i'll leave that for you to decide.

Another thing bothering me is the fight over what to call the trees put up in this season. Has anyone ever decorated a pine, spruce, or needle type tree in any other part of the year for any other reason other than chirstmas? If you know of someone, let me know. Thus why it can't be called a christmas tree is beyond me. If the other religious people can't just suck it up and deal with the commercialized christmas we've all come to know, expect, and the economy thrive on, then go to iraq or something. I have absolutly no problem with chunnakah(sp?), or kwanza, of which i have celebrated the latter before. Many of my good friends are jewish, and I do not have any problems saying christmas tree, chunnakah bush, or kwanza chicken (joke, relax) around them. Loosen up and get into the times of reality, where commercialism thrives on the christmas season, and squirms in freight of all those who celebrate other things, as not to offend them. I by no means am saying everyone should be christian, but I think that if you have a 5 foot tree (+ or - 2 feet) in your house and its decorated in the least, its not an everyday occurance, therefore, shouldn't be called a "holiday tree". Isn't 4th of July a holiday as well?

My music blog is coming along, see link in previous post or at top of page. Writing like a maniac, attempting to put at least one thing up everyday, but I have a feeling that will fall through, as writing music can be hard sometimes. I'll keep updating often though. Do enjoy! If there is an instrument you play, let me know and I'll attempt to put a little something up for you, specifically. Yes, your special.

NOTE: Do NOT post arguments of religious or political opinions in my coments. I do not wish to persuade or judge, nor do I wish to argue, this is strictly my feelings, thats why I put it in MY journal. Funny, or happy comments are welcome!

Join roosterteeth now! Fun community, good people.

In other news...

After submiting a link to Boing Boing, I looked this morning, and BAM, there was the story I submitted. Excellent stuff. Check it out here. Freaking space station? $200,000 to take a lesurely trip to space? 38,000 people have already paid upfront for tickets? I'd blow my money on other things. But when the price comes down to about $200, I'll take a trip.


Got a free palm pilot monday, and am working on getting it up and running. It just came in the mail. I won one from ebay a while back, and recieved it, and then monday from the same guy I recieved the next model up, and never paid for it. He said I could keep it, he doesnt have any losses in his records. I'm thinking its a free update program. Does this mean eventually I'll have a lifedrive for free? I think not.

More later.

Application Added!

I also opened the application development blog! This one will is for the applications I code and release, or even if I do not release them, I will still post about them. Also, I'm open to suggestions, if you have a need, and want a program for it, let me know!

Music added!

I uploaded some music for everyone to play! Well, for all the drummers anyway. Go to my music blog to see it.

Welcome

I will be using this blog for blogging, ya see.

Also check out My Music Blog.