10. All of the staff is smiling and in a good mood, even Tim.
9. Lauren is not PMSing, well, not THAT much.
8. Paul shows up to work in street clothes after requesting off, and not getting paid to kiss the manager on duties ass.
7. There is wine.
6. The residents drink the wine like its water.
5. Its slow enough I can cut my finger and bleed all over the bread pudding, and then wash and wrap the wound before tending to my sidework, and still get done before most people.
4. I'm asked to stay an extra half hour to sign a raise sheet and a performance evaluation, ON A HOLIDAY!
3. Gary breaks his angel like charisma, and tells everyone to pretend to do sidework, but instead go home on time.
2. Paul hugs gary.......over and over and over again.
The number one reason you know it's a holiday at Wood River........
1. It's slow enough to toss oranges in the salad bar from spoon to spoon, like a game, and be finished before most people(not that it was done, but it COULD be).
No wood river employees were harmed in the making of this list.
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." - C. Rock
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